I'd like to share an experience I had a few years ago.
My friend Hilda and I had daughters of similar ages and they would often have sleepovers,
When my eldest daughter Sami was 4 years old, she was playing at her house and had a freak accident,
She had been playing Rachel who was 2 years older, they were watching tv in the spare bedroom, which happened to be in the attic.
I went to pick up Sami, she was all excited as Hilda was going to have a BBQ, 'Pleeeease mummy, can I stay' I pondered a while, I had a heavy uncomfortable feeling and kept visualing picking up Sami and putting her in the car.
I said to Hilda, 'Maybe next time, I have a bad feeling and I just want to take her home'
'She'll be fine said Hilda' and I had Sami looking at me with pleading eyes 'pleeeease mummy'
'Ok I said but only for an hour'
I drove home, as I walked in my front door, the phone was ringing, it was Hilda, she was crying.
The words stopped me in my tracks 'Sami's had an accident, she's fallen out of a window, she's in an ambulance going to A&E'
my blood ran cold, I bundled Simon her brother, who was 2, and my husband into the car and drove as fast as I could to the hospital, all the way there I kept saying 'as long as it's not her head or her back I don't care what she's broken.
Apparently, Sami was offered a sweetie in green foil paper, she didn't like it and when she asked were she could spit it out, Rachel replied 'out the window'
Sami remembered pushing the window, it was a low 17th centuary one, it was stiff so she pushed harder, as she did this she flew out, plunged 40 foot onto the pavement below, her head taking the impact.
When we arrived at the hospital, Sami was unconscious, she looked so small on the big trolley, blood was pouring from both of her ears and approximately 8 doctors were around her.
I was told she had multiple skull fractures, had to be transfered immediately to Oxford where specialist neurosurgeons were waiting for her, we were told she may die as a result of her injuries.
My whole world came crashing down.
I travelled behind the ambulance, crying, I couldn't keep up with it, when we arrived at the hospital she had already had her brain scanned, the consultant explained she was in a coma and was in a critical condition.
Simon and I never left her side for 3 weeks. We just read to her, Simon would gaze at her and gently stroke her hand and face.
After 2 weeks, she started to move and groan, but her right arm, leg and face was paralysised.
She couldn't talk, swallow (she was tube fed) or walk.
Gradually, to the amazement of the neurosurgeons, she improved day by day, but still could't talk.
After 4 weeks, we took her home, for the next few months I hardly slept and I would often find Simon snuggled in bed with her, he said he was 'loving her better'
After months of intense physio therapy she began to try to talk, her first word was 'Simon', her voice was slow and robotic like.
We had flash cards for things she may need, a drink, story, bed, toilet etc.
One day she said in her slow robotic voice, I . . .miss . . .my . . . .friends' she didn't have any friends visit as her injuries looked horrific, so I said 'Do you mean Richard and Simon' (the neurosurgeons)
She shook her head and slowly repeated the same sentence, I said do you mean the nurses? No . . .no she replied, 'I . . . .miss . . . my . . ..friends' she was now getting frustrated.
Sami, from a very early age was an amazing artist, so I said 'Can you draw them Sami'?
She took the pencil and slowly drew herself in bed, with about 15 tall beings around her bed, their eyes were closed and they had no mouths.
'Who are they Sami' I asked she replied 'My friends'
Over the next few months she would draw these people everywhere, I asked if they had names, she said not.
I asked where they came from, she said 'home'
I asked 'do they talk to you, she replied, 'not with their mouths, and would point to her forehead, later she said they would comfort her with gentle music from their heads.
She said she felt happy with them, she also said she would sit up and watch Simon asI read to her and she would recall events, such as when Simon spilt his drink, or when he asked me if Sami was now a punk rocker! her hair was thick with blood and was sticking up. She'd recall the doctors coming in and putting in more drips into her arms and how she didn't like it but these beings would comfort her.
She said she missed their colourful feelings, I didn't quite understand that but it sounded nice and as she improved, one by one they would go until only one stayed, I asked her where thi last one was and she pointed straight in front of her.
This being stayed for about a year, it went to school with her then one day she said her last friend had gone home.
I believe these beings were her guardian angels and were there to protect her and comfort her.
Sami grew up to be an wonderful young woman, wise beyond her years, the gentlest soul and my best friend, she got A stars in her GCSE's and A levels, she went to university in Sheffield to become a dentist, on the 19th of March 1999, at 19 minutes to 9, she was crossing the road on a pelican crossing when she was hit by a bus overtaking traffic and killed instantly. She was 19 years old.
We had her for an extra 14 years, for that I am eternally grateful, but the feelings of loss, grief and sadness is still very profound, I am comforted by the fact that if those angels were there when she was 4 then they will be with her now.
I love you Sami x
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